By Vanessa Fleming, Summersalt Yoga teacher
I write this as I am sitting in a coffee shop, back in my hometown in Norfolk, VA. I’m back here spending quality time with my family for the holidays, after being gone for 8 months.
I am trying to wrap my head around everything that has happened in that time…meeting beautiful souls in Croatia on the yoga retreats, and then moving to Morocco to take on the most life-changing and challenging job I’ve had to date.
At first, I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision to go to Morocco. I had become quite a bit spoiled in Croatia with its beautiful waters, peaceful and still surroundings, loving and friendly folks with a laid back mentality and likeminded focus. I felt so whole and complete in Croatia, almost like I belonged there.
But Morocco…it’s a bit dirty, the water is unsafe to drink, and dust is everywhere. I also happened to be a white western woman in an Arabic country. I struggled with the vast personalities I encountered, and I had to learn how to navigate between a clash of cultures and personalities.
But there is ever a charm there, and each day that I was there, I grew a new appreciation for my surroundings. From the insanity of the language (Berber, Arabic, French and English will all be used in just one sentence), to how people drive, to the general curiosity that all Moroccans display, I started to notice more and more just how truly blessed I was to have this experience. And aside from the aforementioned cosmetic issues in Morocco, the atmosphere and landscape is absolutely stunning. From the beaches to the west and the mountains to the east, a simple turn of the head would instantaneously change my perspective.
But it wasn’t easy. Not at all, not even close.
The main roadblock I had in Morocco? Being grounded. What a challenge. This is where my meditation practice had become so necessary. I struggled regularly with finding space and consistency to sit. In a place where I was so far removed from my family, my friends, regular internet to communicate with them, the only thing I could really rely on was myself and my practice. Admittedly, I fell off from it quite a bit. But whenever I did find the space, time and commitment to just be, what always seemed insurmountable would become manageable. What seemed off the charts in difficulty became softer. When an uncomfortable moment seemed to drag on for forever, the moment would simply settle itself down.
Taking the moments to focus on the inhale, the exhale. The moments of feeling my seat connected to the floor. The time to feel the energy spring from my seat up my spine, forcing me to sit taller. The taller seat making me take deeper, nourishing breaths. What was so insane and strange just 5 minutes prior, calms and moves and changes form with just the simplicity of sitting.
I once had a student say to me, “I couldn’t meditate today. I kept getting distracted by my thoughts and I just noticed them way too much to focus on anything else.”
But this in itself is a form of meditation. Maybe the path isn’t about enlightenment or a perfectly quiet mind all of the time. Part of the process is recognizing when sitting with it for the day just ain’t gonna happen. But when those days come, tomorrow is another day. Even an hour later is another time. The simple act of recognition is the most essential key to start the awareness and mindfulness process. This student could have very well denied that the thoughts were distracting him. But he didn’t. He saw it for what it was…and in that, he started his pathway.
So, my lovelies, I part you with this…
As things become difficult, and it’s harder and harder to stay focused, remember your practice is there to guide you. Equanimity is not about perfect bliss and happiness all of the time. Equanimity is about breathing through getting through when all isn’t alright.
Find your seat, find your feet, find your breath, find a little charm and beauty. It will always, always, always prevail.