By Vanessa Fleming, Summersalt Yoga teacher
Saturday morning, I made myself a cup of coffee, did a little reading, and then checked my email.
The first email was from my dear friend, and the subject just said, “My dad.”
I knew what this email said before I opened it. It’s an email that I get a couple of times of year from various friends, and have been for a couple of years now.
No matter how many times I go through it, death always brings up moments of contemplation of my own mortality, or even worse, when that day will come when I will be on the sending end of that email.
Some of you will read that statement and say out of unconscious habit, “Oh don’t think like that!”
But why do we say that? Why are we so afraid to talk about death, or accept that it’s very real, and absolute?
We attach ourselves to life, and when it’s gone, we oftentimes find ourselves with the “woulda, shoulda, couldas.” In this, we do not live our truth, or our being. We’ve attached to the false idea that we will always have the chance to say or do something, and we disconnect from the present moment, which is our actual chance to say or do something.
In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, 1.12 refers to vairaghya, or non-attachment. “Abhyasa vairaghyabhayam tannirodhah,” or the practice of non-attachment restrains mental modifications, such as selfishness, which causes suffering. Essentially speaking, we are selfish to think we can hold on to life, and to hold on to other’s lives. These lives are not ours to possess, they are not ours to keep. We merely pass each other in moments throughout time, we touch upon each other and we are supposed to move on.
But we are only human, in these human bodies. We can only learn to go without suffering, if we understand what suffering is. Death represents suffering. Whether its the deceased, or the ones left living, someone has suffered in this part of the cycle of life.
So, what to do. To abolish suffering does not mean to have any empathy. Live a present life, that will help. Hug your people as much as you can. Say hello when you’re away, tell them you love them. Because human life is short, and these moments are fleeting.
Lokah Samastah Sukino Bhavantu – May all beings everywhere be happy and free.