By Ana Jovicic

There are quotes that we’ve all heard so many times that we’re not sure what they mean anymore, much less who said them first.

In the same way that we can suddenly identify with countless love songs after experiencing heartbreak, we start to realise the deeper meaning of these cheesy quotes only when new lessons emerge in our lives.

Below are five overused sayings that we’ve all rolled our eyes at, that start to make sense as we find ways to live our lives more mindfully.

“What we do today is what matters most”

The human mind likes to go places non-related to where the body currently is, so it doesn’t like the phrases that emphasise the importance of being “here and now”. That’s why it puts them in the “Nonsense” box.

If you would stop to observe what your mind actually does when you are not entirely present, you’d notice its wandering patterns. It jumps from one thing to another, asks questions, answers them, relives moments long gone, imagines what it would be like if something went a different way, wonders about things that didn’t happen yet, gives excuses, tells stories, makes plans, holds onto some things, skips over others. Every mentioned mental process has nothing to do with the place you are currently in – the crossroad of here and now.

If your mind went off track and you kept following its spinning chain of thoughts throughout the day, there are just a couple of possible scenarios. If you were working, you weren’t really productive. If you were resting, you were getting in your own way of enjoying life.

So this quote simply reminds you about the importance of bringing yourself back to where you already are. We really tend to forget that.

 “Embrace the glorious mess that you are”

First of all, what’s glorious about anyone’s mess and why would you embrace it anyway?

This was the first step for all of us who grew from self-loathing masked egomaniacs into more authentic and self-loving versions of ourselves.

With recognising and accepting your messy parts, you’re creating foundations for personal growth. It is natural to judge, run from, feel guilty about, or simply ignore that inner confusion. It is more challenging to pause and truly hold that uncensored chaos in awareness, feel it, experience it, and thereby come to understand it better.

Mindfulness practice teaches you to recognise the humanness in yourself and in others, and all that goes with it. It allows you to see the beauty within the messy and the unknown. By giving yourself permission to be as you are in this very moment, fully awake and open-hearted, you are practicing the love that has no conditions to attain unto. Embracing your mess is a step closer to, well, another form of mess – but more peaceful, loving, and kind.

 “Let go of what was, surrender to what is”

At first, this worn out quote sounds give-me-a-break-ish. After giving it some thought and questioning how it relates to your life, it probably sounds like the most difficult thing ever. How can you let go of something that is over if you still want it? How to surrender to a reality that is uncomfortable or simply unpredictable? Answers, again, lie in mindfulness practice.

Being able to completely surrender to whatever life has to offer is an ability that requires presence, receptiveness, faith in your capacities, a healthy dose of independence, and who knows what else. This process starts with observing what is happening moment by moment and then learning how to let go of the need to control the things unrelated to your own choices.

It’s a long-learning process, not just a shift of perception. When it comes to mindfulness and emotional intelligence, a simple decision can’t be a game-changer. Practice is key.

“Practice and all is coming”

In today’s world, committing yourself to practice has never been so difficult and so easy at the same time. On the one hand, the fast high-tech world is designed to distract you. On the other, there are some awesome mindfulness apps waiting to be downloaded by a simple click on your phone – which is always within your hand’s reach anyway.

Taking five minutes a day to practice can actually change the course of your life to a more peaceful reality. Mindfulness practice teaches you to drop the expectations or regrets and stop the hunt for certain goals. Not to be confused with giving up on something you want to achieve, it simply invites you to hold present moment in awareness, reminding you that your only goal is to keep practicing.

Without forcing or avoiding anything, simply by coming back to yourself one breath at a time, all is coming.

“7 billion smiles, and mine is my favourite”

Okay, I may have changed the trashiest quote in the world – but only one word of it!

The biggest lesson we can take from mindfulness practice; the wisest thing we will ever get to learn and live, is self-love. It’s the cornerstone of the way we choose to live our lives, the foundation for our happiness.

Everything in life unfolds from a place of abundance or lack of self-love.

Every relationship we invest in, run from, sabotage, force, learn from, hold on to – is a testimony of the relationship we have with our own selves.

Why do we let something hurt us? Why are we feeling addicted to something or over-attached to someone? It is all about lack of self-love.

How can the world be a better place? Gazillions of self-lovers in different shapes, colours and sizes!

So, to quote the words of Mr Bieber, you should (definitely) go and love yourself.

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By Milda Urban, Summersalt Yoga founder

Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in two different directions? Or that you’re listening to two different voices in your head? One voice is very loud and it likes to call himself “the voice of reason”. The other one is silent, let’s himself be heard just sometimes, but it speaks our deepest wishes and desires. These gentlemen are The Ego and The Self.

Defined by the Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist (and father of analytical psychology) C.G.Jung Ego and Self are our consciousness and unconsciousness – defining our psyche as a union, as a whole.

To describe it briefly – Ego is the center of consciousness and the Self is a complete personality that includes consciousness, the unconscious, and the ego. The Self is both the whole and the center. You can see it in the picture below that the ego is a self-contained little center of the circle and the Self is the greater circle

Ego and Self

In our daily life, we can simplify this and call Ego our “reasonable side”, which works to keep and assemble our personality, it keeps us motivated, working, it helps us to deal with the daily grind, struggles, measurable tasks and goals in life. It protects us from the problems that the world presents and helps us create a personality that’s able and capable to deal with these challenges.

The bigger picture is our Self – someone who we really are, not just a mask, not an Ego-created personality whose task’s to deal with the threats, fears, and challenges of our lives, but a deeper, authentic and individual person.

Self can be also called our “calling” – it defines our true “purpose” and desires in life, a higher mission if you will and all of these are often not in line with what the Ego wants.

Results versus process

Our Ego wants to do, act, have, protect. It is motivating and fueled by fear – fear of not having enough, of not doing enough, of losing some kind of created identity of ours. It pushes us to work and achieve more – it says we must, have, should. The ego is motivated by anxiety. The ego identifies a “problem” and finds a “solution” no matter what it is. The ego needs results. Ego preserves itself. The ego needs external validation.

The Self wants to create, express, and fulfill itself. It wants to be. It does not need to tick of a list of achievements, to have a “diploma” to show or accomplishments to brag with. It strives in silence when the noise around is gone and everything is still. Self does not want to achieve in our daily sense, it wants to express itself, to do good for the world, the universe. Self concentrates on others. Writer Frederick Buechner describes the calling as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” Self needs process.

Inside battle

Ego sometimes finds these silent words of Self disturbing, annoying, and something that needs to be eliminated in order to “achieve” or “fix a problem”.

And yes, as Ego, its anxiety and fear are a part of our Self it does affect The Self, it silences it, it dominates it and The Self is pushed away. Pushed away even deeper into our subconscious. The Self now has a chance to show up and manifest itself in our dreams or when we’re under the influence of alcohol or some substances. During these times The Ego is the one silenced and our true calling and desires come out. Just think about it – why is it that just after a couple of glasses of wine we finally find the courage to talk about “that book I’ve always wanted to write” or “the business idea that’s been in my head for years”. It’s the true Self-talking when The Ego is silenced. Please do not take this as an encouragement to drink or take drugs – these are the desperate measures and not an actual tool or treatment!!

Finally, the peak of The Ego is a burnout – total crash. The peak of Self is the fulfillment and reaching our deepest and most real desires. It’s the fulfillment and not burn out because it is your true calling and not a fake and manufactured version of it.

Please do not simplify this though. Ego is necessary for all of us to be able to function in our world and eliminating it would cause delusions, fantasies, and instabilities. However, The Self is the one that creates a deeper, more meaningful, and soulful way to be in the world. Let The Self come out and be heard.

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In talking to surfers who spend a large amount of time on the water riding the waves, for some of them the magic is in the catching of the wave, the surge of adrenalin and excitement that comes with gliding along the water. But for some, it’s also the spaces in between the waves, where they are sitting and feeling and looking when they feel most at peace, they feel the magic. This is when they are most connected to the largeness of life.

This is how I feel in those pauses on my yoga mat when I come to the top of my mat or rest my forehead on the ground into a child’s pose. When everything is able to integrate, to be absorbed, to settle into my bones. My nervous system is soothed, my breath slows down, my thoughts dwindle, returning to that feeling of just feeling, and being.

The ebb is the outgoing phase when the tide drains away from the shore; and the flow is the incoming phase when the water rises again. Both are equally necessary for a balanced sense of health and vitality. To release, and then refill. We need the balance between push and the pull, the effort and the ease, the yin, and the yang.

In fact, we create space in our bodies and our minds by moving in both directions. We inhale to lengthen and create space in our physical bodies, and we exhale to sink further into a pose, to twist deeper, to fold inward, to open outward. Mentally, we push in both directions when we struggle with our thoughts, when we feel positive than negative, frustrated then uplifted, emotional then clear-headed. Then we start to see the equalizing space between the push and the pull, or the positivity and the negativity, and we notice that we have the choice to rest in that space for a little longer each time, and this is our practice. When we discover that we can be at ease with ourselves in this present moment, without looking forwards or backward.

Think about your breath. When you breathe in deeply, is your breath smooth and rhythmic, or is it jagged and ragged? Notice the pauses at the top of your inhale. Notice the pauses at the bottom of your exhale. Rest easy in these spaces for a brief moment and enjoy them, without thinking about what comes next. The fullness at the top of the inhale. The emptiness at the bottom of the exhale. There is a space of stillness and quiet at our very center, and when we get very quiet we can see it, hear it and feel it, and then we start to realize that it is always available to us, behind all of the external pressures and stress, beneath any transitory emotions or sensations in our bodies or minds. The foundation of all of these things is stillness and silence, and it is always there if we can get quiet enough to hear it. The fluidity of our emotions and our situation is inevitable, but there is an earth-like quality that lies beneath it.

Find ease in your breath. Ease in your practice. Ease in your daily life. To go with the tide doesn’t mean to give up, it means to flow with the natural rhythm of life without forcing anything unnatural – breath, movement, words, actions. It means to do what comes naturally and to do what comes from our very center. To ebb and flow, to go fast, then slow, and to rest in the spaces between.

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What is meditation to you? How would you describe it to someone who has not had much or zero experience with it?

For me, meditation is a pathway to connecting with the present moment. Historically, my mind has always darted around constantly, jumping from the past to the future, and taking the highway right passed the present. So meditation doesn’t mean a perfectly quiet mind. Stillness doesn’t necessarily mean sitting still. It means tapping into something that works for you.

How do I meditate – that is a number one question people ask when suggested to try it. What key pointers could you give? Maybe a few different techniques? How often, how long, where should one meditate?

The idea of sitting still for a period of time is what most people find extremely daunting and seemingly impossible, which is completely valid and true. A person would not run a full marathon without training first. A person also would not train for a marathon without preparing the body properly, such as diet and prep exercise. Meditation is the same. Immediately going in to sit is just not going to produce results if you don’t know what you’re trying to achieve.

– Start off small. Anything can be meditation.

– Try sitting in a room with no TV, no phone, no computer, and bring your breakfast, lunch, dinner with you. Or even a snack. There is no distraction, just you and your food. Take a bite, and feel that bite. Find the flavors, the texture. How does your tongue react. How does your throat feel. This is the beginning process known as mindfulness.

– Another quick technique to start the process (it’s just a start, by no means will this bring all the answers) – bring your gaze to the tip of your nose. This is called Drishti in Sanskrit. Just stare at this point, see how long you can hold it. Start small! There is no reason to go sit right away. That will come.



Meditating is hard!! That’s another familiar sentence. How to not lose motivation?

It is hard! Know that. And know that there is no right or wrong. Acknowledgement is the first step. I once had someone say to me, “meditation is like sitting on a frozen lake with a fishing hole cut in the ice. You sit on the ice, sliding and sliding, trying to land on the hole. You come short, you overshoot. And then one time you’ll get to the hole and land it, and then you fall through the hole.” Acceptance is key to not losing motivation. It will always change shape and form. Some days are easier, some are harder. Find moments to embrace, even if it’s just 2 minutes.

When do I get to reap the benefits of a constant meditation practice?

There is no formula or time-frame. You can witness the effects after your first attempt. There are many different factors going in to your practice. From your body, to health, to the mental mind stuff. And unfortunately, you can’t be told when it will start to make sense. For me, it was like the light bulb turned on. It was so simple to see, once that light bulb came on. But I can tell you to try this or try that till I’m blue in the face. It will not create a timeline. The only thing I can say is this. The faster you can begin to unlearn what you know and start to let go of a goal, accept there is no goal, you’ll start to see what unfolds. 

How long did it take you to master meditation? Can you actually measure if you are good or bad in meditating?

I am far from a master. I am merely a practitioner. I don’t know that I’ll ever “master” meditation, but it’s a practice that can not be ignored or not taken seriously. I wouldn’t even say that I’m good at it. It’s immeasurable for me. I don’t always commit to the time. I have overshot and come short to the fishing hole many times. I often let my own ego get in my way and it hinders my meditation because I simply don’t do it when my ego is full on. So I’m working on shedding my ego. And I take moments to just be. I look at flowers, or I listen to birds, and in that I find meditation. I dance. Dance is my meditation. Will I ever be an enlightened being? It’s not my goal. But I am on the pathway to empowerment. To be the arbiter of my own destiny. To be…here. Now. And only right now. The past is fabricated and the future isn’t real. I feel my feet, I feel my face, and I feel the breath, and I’m alive. Only right now. 

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By Vanessa Fleming, Summersalt Yoga teacher

Today, I sat down with my journal and started to write. Whenever I feel any sort of internal turmoil or confusion that I can’t seem to answer or understand, I turn to my journal. I haven’t properly turned to my journal in some time now, but this morning, I turned to my dear old friend.

As the words started to flow, I kept noticing one word coming up – truth. What is the truth? What is MY truth? What truth in any sort of terms? How does one live in truth? How does one be true?

I’ve struggled with the definition and concept of truth for a long time. I’m not talking the dictionary definition of truth. I’m referring to the abstract concept, the depth of its being, the many layers that need to be peeled back to discover the truth.

So I spent the better part of the morning, long after I closed my journal, contemplating truth. Some of what I came up with was this…

I’ve spent a better part of my life in a daze. A daydreamer I have always been. Easily, I slip away to my created world where if I just make it this far, or make it that far, or try this one thing, or accomplish this one goal…I’ll no longer daze. The effort I have to put in to staying present and not get too far ahead of myself is magnificent. It doesn’t always work.

And lately, I’ve really been unkind to myself, partially because of this. It seems the harder I try, the harder it is. It also seems the more I examine myself, the more I’m uncomfortable with who I am, how I am being, what I am thinking and doing. I put my weaknesses and flaws under a magnifying glass out in the sun, hoping those weaknesses and flaws will disappear and fade if I just burn them out from the sun’s rays. But what I’ve found is exactly the opposite…the fire ignites from the magnifying glass and I soon have a blaze that’s quickly going out of control, taking over my actions, my mind, my presence. I try to put the blaze out by doing seemingly innocuous things – texting my best friend, and another friend, and my parents, and someone else, and an old flame, all to start a conversation about fears, worries, contemplations, and all things under the umbrella “Ethereal.” The effort is to make myself feel better in my unease, but I end up feeling so, so, so much worse.

And this does nothing but take me out of the present, put me behind on my ever-growing list of tasks, and makes me sad.

So under all this, I start to examine my truth. Do I know what my “truth” is? Nope. Not a clue. But I think I have discovered some key concepts on my way to the answer, and I still ask some important questions:

Being true. What does it really mean? Acceptance? Tenacity? Could, in some twisted life or reality, mean denial? How do I rise above denial and naïveté to reach “truth”? I’m not the best at really anything, and that’s okay – but how do I accept that without becoming defeatist? How do I make that work FOR me and not against me? How do I make my weaknesses work for me and not against me?

Does the truth lie in this ability? Is this where strength and greatness come from?

I don’t know that I’ll ever know the answer to this. But all I can do…is try. And to contemplate further, but not too much. Practice benevolence to myself, because who else will be my friend if I can’t be a friend to myself? Who else will take care of me, if I can’t take care of my own heart?

But most importantly…how can I take care of others, if I can’t listen to my own self?

It won’t be easy. But I have learned a small part along the way, even as a write this post.  It’s so easy to get caught up in what you are and what you aren’t.

What I do know is this – I could continue to be mad at myself for miscalculating numbers or losing my (expensive!) sunglasses, I could continue to be uncomfortable and scared because of self-created prophecies that could become fulfilled, I could continue to walk on eggshells around myself so that I don’t create inner turmoil, or I could…

not. I could just not do any of that, and just…be.

And in that, somewhere, I’m convinced! is where the truth lies. Defeat the defeatist, live the best I can, even the flawed, the cranky, the forgetful, the moody…all of it. Because all of that…is me. But it’s not all of me. They are just small parts that are inclusive of this being, and all of what does make me who I am. And maybe I ain’t so bad after all?!

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By Vanessa Fleming, Summersalt Yoga teacher

Saturday morning, I made myself a cup of coffee, did a little reading, and then checked my email.

The first email was from my dear friend, and the subject just said, “My dad.”

I knew what this email said before I opened it. It’s an email that I get a couple of times of year from various friends, and have been for a couple of years now.

No matter how many times I go through it, death always brings up moments of contemplation of my own mortality, or even worse, when that day will come when I will be on the sending end of that email.

Some of you will read that statement and say out of unconscious habit, “Oh don’t think like that!”

But why do we say that? Why are we so afraid to talk about death, or accept that it’s very real, and absolute?

We attach ourselves to life, and when it’s gone, we oftentimes find ourselves with the “woulda, shoulda, couldas.” In this, we do not live our truth, or our being. We’ve attached to the false idea that we will always have the chance to say or do something, and we disconnect from the present moment, which is our actual chance to say or do something.

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, 1.12 refers to vairaghya, or non-attachment. “Abhyasa vairaghyabhayam tannirodhah,” or the practice of non-attachment restrains mental modifications, such as selfishness, which causes suffering. Essentially speaking, we are selfish to think we can hold on to life, and to hold on to other’s lives. These lives are not ours to possess, they are not ours to keep. We merely pass each other in moments throughout time, we touch upon each other and we are supposed to move on.

But we are only human, in these human bodies. We can only learn to go without suffering, if we understand what suffering is. Death represents suffering. Whether its the deceased, or the ones left living, someone has suffered in this part of the cycle of life.

So, what to do. To abolish suffering does not mean to have any empathy. Live a present life, that will help. Hug your people as much as you can. Say hello when you’re away, tell them you love them. Because human life is short, and these moments are fleeting.

Lokah Samastah Sukino Bhavantu – May all beings everywhere be happy and free.

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